Joy to the World
by LordofCamels
Summary: There will be no pairings, no OCs, and no lemons, but I can promise Jazz and a space octopus. What happens when, during a long voyage in space, the gang comes across a mysterious abandon ship and they decide to go looting? Can I call them the gang without giggling? Read to find out. Spoiler, the answer to the second question is no. Rated Teen for language.
1. Part 1

**The title refers to the Three Dog Night Song, otherwise known as Jeremiah was a bullfrog (bum dum dum.) If you still dont know what song I'm talking about we might have a serious problem.**

**I recently got engaged to Guardians of the Galaxy, and this is my wedding proposal disguised as a fanfiction. **

**Enjoy, and review please :)**

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><p>It is a common misconception that space is always exciting. For every planet that explodes, for every star born, there are countless miles of nothing. The ability to travel at light speed makes journeys across the the emptier parts of the galaxy possible, but not fun, so every spaceship is furnished with stuff to help alleviate the boredom. Kree spaceship often have sleeping pods that are called lucid cryogenic chambers by the Kree and nap pods by everyone else in the galaxy. Xandarians favor digitalized books. Real books were banned from all official Xandarian military vessels. One too many incidents with heavy books falling off shelves and hitting important people.<p>

Quill kept a deck of old cards on the Milano. Other than these, there was nothing much to do. There are some ships that can make three month journeys across space but the crew of the Milano tried to make short trips, because if they stayed cooped up together in one place for too long, there would surely be a murder.

The longest time they ever spent in empty space was eight days. They were after a bounty, a man who'd murdered seventeen people over drugs or something. He was rumored to be hiding in sector 3191 so they refueled at a small moon and set off.

Rocket tried to keep himself sane by tending to the sapling Groot. Quill would tease him, calling him a gardener, to which Rocket would reply that you couldn't be a gardener with only one plant. He made a makeshift watering can by poking a few holes in a can with Drax's knife. Watering and talking to Groot kept him happy for a day, but by day two, Rocket started asking the computer if it's possible to overwater a sentient plant thing. This got him nowhere since he didn't know exactly what species Groot was. By day three, Rocket was snarling at anyone who talked to him. The rest of the crew's moods were no better.

On day four, the artificial gravity broke. It happened when they were all asleep. In space, there is no day and night, so bed time was usually the time Quill finally stopped playing his music. On that particular day (or night, whatever it was,) Quill was shaken out of dreamland early.

"What is it?" He muttered sleepily. Quill blinked his eyes open and saw Gamora's upside-down face staring angrily at him. Then he noticed he was floating. "What's happening?" He asked, now very much awake.

"The gravity's broke." Rocket said from across the room. "Where's Groot?"

"Probably floating around somewhere." Quill flailed around a bit before he was able to orient himself. "Why are you all staring at me?"

"It's your ship, what are we supposed to do about this?" Gamora said.

"Well, she's a bit different now since the Xandarians rebuilt her. I've slept in Zero grav before, it's not too bad. It's kind of cool actually. Hopefully the gravity will turn back on again by itself."

"Don't just say that!" Gamora said. "Do something!"

"Ok, ok. There's no need to yell at me." Quill grabbed a nearby bar and pulled himself toward the lower part of the ship.

Gamora crossed her arms. "I can't believe him. Rocket, go with him. Make sure he doesn't ruin everything. Drax, what are you doing?"

On his way to the engine room, Rocket floated passed Drax, who was sitting with his legs crossed and his eyes closed.

"What are you doing?" Gamora asked again.

"This is an ancient practice of meditation among my people. " He sighed. "I was never proficient at it."

"Then why are you doing it now?"

Drax closed his eyes harder. "Maybe if I do this long enough all of your annoying voices will fade away into the distance, like the buzzing of insects being squashed by a boot."

Gamora made an exasperated sound and pushed off toward the flight deck.

"Is anything happening?" Quill shouted from the engine.

Drax opened his eyes again. "No."

"What about now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No. We are still floating. If the gravity turns back on, I'm sure you will notice, Quill."

After a few minutes, Quill and Rocket floated back into the sleeping area. "I think we hit a meteor or something." Quill said. "It's probably broken on the outside. So I'll have to check it out later."

"I will go." Drax said.

"You don't know the first thing about spaceships."

"Don't be so sure, Terran."

"Oh yeah? Where would you look for damage?"

"I would look at the ship."

"I am Groot." Squeaked a voice from above.

"Groot?" Rocket said, looking up. "There you are." Groot was suspended a few inches below the ceiling merrily waving his limbs about.

"Hey, those are his first words."

"Yeah. Guess that means he's getting stronger."

The gravity turned back on. Quill landed hard on top of a tool box. Rocket leapt to the right in order to catch Groot. "Shit, that was close." Rocket muttered.

"Nice catch."

Gamora's head popped into the room. "Did you fix it?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Well, it's fixed." Quill said. "Let's sleep."

"But it could go off again at any moment," Rocket said. "and then it could come back on when we're sleeping and Groot could fall."

"We have the gravity back now." Gamora leapt down from the flight deck like a cat. "So it'll be easier to fix."

"But we don't need to."

"Do you just not want to go outside?"

"No. … Yes."

"I will go." Drax said.

"You don't know anything about spaceships Drax shut up."

"Rocket can go." Gamora said.

"Quill should go since it's his ship." Rocket said, brushing off Groot's clay pot. "I could miss something."

"Fuck." Quill dragged his hands against his face. "It's so cold out there."

"Why don't you have any coats in this ship?" Gamora said. She was yelling now.

"Cause- uh, I mean-"

"It's your own damn fault your gonna be cold. Get your ass out there."

"Can I at least get some sleep first?" Quill asked. "I'm really tired. We only got like, uh," He looked at the computer's clock. "3 hours of sleep?"

"4."

"Whatever. I think we should all get some shuteye, then I promise I'll go see what the problem is."

Rocket growled at him. "I'm going to punch you in the face."

Quill didn't even have the energy to be alarmed. "Look, if I go out there now, while I'm tired, I'm more likely to make a mistake and die. Sleep deprivation kills. Back me up here Drax." Quill looked up at Drax. He was snoring. "Well then, I guess that settles it." Quill clapped his hands together. "Sleep first, then fix the ship." He stumbled over to the bunk and was asleep before Rocket or Gamora could stop him.

"Damn him." Rocket muttered.

* * *

><p>Quill woke up 2 hours later when he collided midair with Drax. "Gah! Shit, it's off again." Quill looked aggrievedly at Drax, who was snoring.<p>

"Yup." Gamora said. "It's off."

Quill rubbed his eyes and floated toward a pile of boxes. Rocket was next to it, cradling Groot like the little tree was his newborn child. He had deep shadows under his eyes. "You okay there Rocket?"

"Talk to me again and I'll rip your arms off and beat you with them."

Quill decided it would be better to leave Rocket alone. He took a energy bar out of one of the boxes and floated toward Gamora. "What's wrong with him?"

"He didn't sleep. He wanted to make sure Groot wouldn't fall to his doom."

"Did you sleep?"

"Yes."

Quill looked at her sideways. "How long has it been since you've eaten?"

"You're avoiding the problem Quill, you need to go outside and figure out what's wrong with the ship."

"But baby it's cold outside." Quill sang.

Gamora stared at him.

"It's a christmas song. Uh, a winter festival song. You know what, forget it. It's a good song."

"I don't care about the song Quill, fix the gravity!"

"It is fixed."

Gamora glared at him. "Does this look fixed? Give me your helmet."

"What, why?"

"If you aren't going to go outside, then I will." Gamora made a grab for Quill's earpiece. He pushed off a chair and ran into a wall avoiding her.

"Calm down." Quill said, shielding his ear from further attack.

"If you don't give me that helmet I will cut off your ear and take it from your lifeless corpse!" Gamora screamed.

"I'm going outside." Quill shouted back.

"Silence!" Drax said. "I'm trying to sleep."

"I don't have to listen to you." Gamora snarled, turning on Drax.

Suddenly, outside didn't seem so unpleasant to Quill. He activated his helmet and hurried to the airlock.

* * *

><p>Quill returned 15 minutes or so later. "Ok." He said as the airlock opened. "I've got good news and bad news."<p>

"Yes." Drax said. "Tell us."

The gravity was back on again and Valerye was playing softly in the background. "The good news is that the damage isn't permanent," Quill said. "we can take shifts watching Groot so everyone can get some sleep and it shouldn't be dangerous for any of us. Hell, we could always just strap ourselves to the beds to sleep."

"And the bad news?" Gamora asked. She seemed to be in a better mood. Quill noticed several energy bar wrappers strewn on the ground.

"The bad news is that I can't fix it right now."

"Oh, poor baby, is it too cold for you?" Gamora said in a mocking tone.

"I don't have the parts we need to fix it." Quill said. "The artificial gravity core thing got damaged."

"Don't you have a spare?"

"Hell no, those things are expensive. Sorry, we'll just have to put up with touchy gravity till we get to the planet, which is only 4 days."

"I would rather jump out of the airlock and suffocate than be in this damn spaceship for another 4 days." Rocket said.

"We will be dead in 4 days." Drax said.

"I am Groot." Groot squeaked.

"See, Groot thinks we're gonna be ok."

"That's not what he said Quill." Rocket said. "He said he doesn't like the water on this ship, and he has some pretty low standards."

Drax crossed his arms. "Living things were not made to exist like this."


	2. Part 2

**Part two. The parts are not equal in length.**

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><p>"Why do you only ever play 7 songs?" Rockets voice was low and dangerously calm. They were sitting on Quill's bunk, next to the cassette player. Gamora had strapped herself to the second bunk and was snoring softly. Drax was sitting on the stairs to the flight deck, sharpening his knives for the umpteenth time.<p>

"I don't just have 7 songs." Quill said.

"I've heard this song ten billion times."

"I doubt that's true." Rocket glared at Drax. "Oh, it's a metaphor." He said. "I see."

"Skip this song."

"Whatever you say Rocket." Quill skipped The Piña Colada song and heard the familiar trumpets of O-O- Child.

"Skip this too." Rocket said.

"That's the end of the tape."

"Then play a new one." Quill began switching out the tapes, Rocket peering over his shoulder like a murderous hawk. "How many cassettes do you have?"

"Three. The awesome mix part 1, the awesome mix part 2, and a tape with no name I picked up from a junk dealer on a moon in sector 6413. Technically it doesn't have any songs on it. I just call it unofficial awesome."

"That's idiotic." Rocket said. "I've heard all these songs before."

"Then maybe we should just not listen to anything." Quill said, gritting his teeth.

"Then it's too quiet." Rocket said. "We need some new tapes."

"We don't have any other tapes. I thought you liked this music."

Rocket snorted and stomped off.

"Alright fine then!" Quill turned the music off. "Happy?"

"No." Rocket said.

"Groot looks like he needs water." Drax said.

"Shut up." Rocket got up and began throwing boxes aside, presumable looking for Groot's watering can. The gravity turned off and Rocket's next step launched him into the air. "Shit." He yelled. "I can't move." Drax grabbed a nearby firearm and used it to push Rocket toward a wall.

Quill decided to go to the flight deck which was the closest he could get to being alone. "This sucks." He sighed, staring out the window into the void, punctuated by the few depressing pinpricks of light. They're pretty, he thought, but what's the point if you can't get to them? One of the lights went out. Quill blinked, then he realized a bunch of the light were out. No, not out, obscured by something. "Guys look!"

"Hold on a second." Rocket said. "I'm stuck under the fucking table. Learn to aim you shirtless dipshit."

"Why are you talking to me like I'm Groot?" Drax asked.

"I'm not doing that."

"Yes you are, and I will not forgive you the next time you call me a dipshit."

"Guys it's a ship." Quill said.

"No way. They would've radioed us." Rocket climbed up onto the flight deck and stared out the window. "Holy shit it is a ship, and a big one too. Break Quill."

Quill brought the ship to a halt and pressed the radio button. "Hello? Come in? This is Peter Quill, Starlord, captain of the Milano. Can anyone hear me?"

Static.

"I repeat," Quill said. "if anyone can hear me- Oh." The light of a distant star reflected off a nearby moon and illuminated the ship. The entire upper section had was torn up. Quill noticed that all the escape pods had been launched too. "It's abandoned."

"Quill." Rocket placed his hand on Quill's shoulder. "We need to go on that ship."

"Definitely. There could be ship parts and food," Quill grinned. "and loot. Any ravager worth his salt would love to get his hands on a big ship like that."

"You don't say?"

"Rocket, You should stay on the ship, work communications and keep Groot company."

"God dammit." Rocket slouched down in the pilot's chair. "Why do I have to be the one who babysits Groot?"

"Only for like, an hour or so. Then we'll trade places." Quill said, adopting a motherly tone. "That way everyone get's a turn. Go wake up Gamora will you?"

"Don't patronize me." Rocket muttered, then he scampered off. Quill scanned the ship. "This thing was totally trashed by something, but there are still big parts of it that are intact. That means there'll be oxygenated parts of the ship we can go on."

"Good." Drax said. "I have been wanting to get off this ship for a long time now."

"That's hurts man."

"Literally or metaphorically?"

"Uh… I don't really know."

"I meant no offense."

"No, I get what you mean. I've kind of been itching to get off her too."

Gamora came drifting up the stairs with Rocket in tow. "You found a ship?" she asked, stretching.

"Yup." Quill moved aside so she could see. "Take a look."

"That's a big ship."

"Yup. That's good, it means better parts to scavenge."

"And do we know what ripped that whole section up?"

"Uh…"

"Whatever did this could be nearby, did you think of that?"

"Yeah, no I totally did."

"We'll take weapons," Rocket said. "there's nothing the right gun can't fix."

"Guns are not known for fixing things."

"Shut up Drax."

"Also, there might be an artificial gravity core." Quill said.

Gamora bit her lip, staring at the ship, weighing the odds. "Do you think they have better food than energy bars?"

"Probably."

"I'm going."

"Great." Quill said. "We have a boarding party."

"How many oxygen masks do we have?"

"4, including my helmet, but Rocket's staying behind."

"I still don't see why I'm the one who gets stuck on this boring piece of garbage." Rocket said.

Quill stifled the urge to strangle Rocket. "Who votes Rocket stays on the Milano?" He raised his hand, as did Gamora and Drax.

"Traitors." Rocket growled. His foul mood did nothing to dampen the excitement in the air as Quill dug the oxygen masks out of a closet. Groot watched them as they prepared, occasionally waving his arms about and saying "I am Groot." He'd been secured to the main table with some industrial strength adhesive Quill kept lying around for emergencies. Rocket checked that communications were working, then Quill, Drax and Gamora headed out into space. Quill was the only one with propulsion, so he grabbed the other two by their arms and blasted off toward the abandoned ship.

The silence outside was absolute. When he first started going on missions alone, the absence of noise bothered Quill. It gave him nightmares as a kid. Even now it still made him uncomfortable.

"Hey Rocket," Quill asked, "think you could put some music on? It's too quiet out here."

Rocket's growl made an ugly crackling sound over the radio. "I ain't your damn butler."

"Ok, ok. there's no need to yell."

"I ain't yelling."

Gamora sighed. "And it was so peaceful out here."

They reached one the first airlock, but it was too close to the damaged section of the ship, not safe to use.

"How do you put the tape on?" Rocket asked.

"I thought you said you weren't gonna do it?"

"Groot wants to listen to something. He wont shut up."

Quill listened and could just barely hear "I am Groot. I am Groot…" over the com-link.

"It's the unmarked button on the upper right on the left hand side."

"Got it. I'll be right back, I'm gonna turn it on. Try not to die of lonely hearts while I'm gone."

Quill heard Rocket going down the stairs. They reached the second air lock, which was intact. It opened with a hiss, and they floated into the small space. The door closed and the oxygenation process started.

The gravity came on. Drax and Gamora landed on their feet, but Quill managed to lose his footing. "Nice."

Quill got to his feet. "Shut up." They stepped into a cramped room only 5ft wide and 9ft long, and half of that space was taken up by a bench and a row of coat hooks harboring spacesuits.

"This is much less spectacular than what I was expecting from the outside of this ship." Drax said.

"This is probably just a janitors locker room." Quill said, kicking a bucket across the floor. "Like where'd they'd suit up to go outside the ship to clean windows and stuff. The real goods are in the main part of the ship and engineering. Working ship parts can be worth their weight in units." Quill stepped around and overturned trolly and made his way to the door. Drax and Gamora followed and they found themselves in a somewhat larger room with sofas and vending machines.

This was where they found their first dead body, indicated by a bloodstain on the wall, slumped in the corner. Gamora knelt down and examined the corpse. "His throat's been torn out. Looks like teeth or some kind of hooked weapon." She felt the blood on the alien's neck. "He's been dead for some time. I'd guess a few days."

Quill kelt beside the corpse too. He pried a soft drink from it's cold fingers.

Gamora stared at the happy look on his face. "You are not going to drink that."

"No. If I did drink it, would you give me money?"

"No."

"I might." Drax said.

"You're not drinking that for money." Gamora said. Using her sword, she wrenched open the vending machine and took out a candy bar. "I am going to eat this though." Gamora started toward the open doorway leading to the rest of the ship.

"Hypocrite." Quill threw the drink at a wall, then followed. They were in the main hallway now. The walls were steel and the carpet was a deep crimson color. Red fluorescent lights with black shades lined the ceilings, allowing dim slivers of red light to illuminate the hall. They flickered every now and then, so that every potted plant created a dancing shadow on the wall.

"Let's see, one, two three, four corpses." Quill said stepping into the hall and nearly tripping over something he hadn't seen in the half darkness. He picked the thing up. "Oh god I know what this is." He said. "Brings back memories. I smuggled a whole load of these goravide pipes once. The guy I did it for, black welts," Quill indicated his face, "all over, cause of the goravide. He looked like a barnacle The job payed really well, but I got caught. That was my first time in prison."

Quill stowed the pipe in his bag and Gamora shifted her gaze to the cadavers on the floor. "These bodies are similar to the one in the janitor's room." She said.

"I'm beginning to doubt the safety of this ship." Drax said.

"Don't be a baby." Quill said.

"I am not a baby."

"Metaphor Drax."

"It's still and insult though." Gamora said.

"Sh." Drax suddenly assumed a fighting stance, drawing his knives and scanning the hall.

"What is it?" Quill asked, his hand flying to his weapon. Gamora drew her sword.

"I heard something." Drax said.

All three of them jumped as Want You Back started playing over the com-links. "I'm back." Rocket announced. "What'd I miss?"

"Dammit Rocket, you scared the crap out of us." Quill said, clutching at his heart.

"Are you in the ship?"

"Yeah."

"I found food," Gamora said, munching her candy bar. "but there's nothing valuable here that I can see."

"We'll of course there's nothing here, it's a hallway." Quill took out a scanner and shook it a few times.

"Drax, was what you heard earlier Rocket?" Gamora asked.

"Perhaps." Drax said.

"Are you sure?" Quill asked. "You don't sound too sure."

"You guys are hearing things?" Rocket asked. "That's a sign of madness."

"I'm not gonna be lectured by you about sanity."

"Fair enough. Do you still have that thing I gave you?"

"Which one, the small bomb or the thing that looks like a compass?"

"The compass thing. It's a camera, so I can see what you see. Turn it on please."

Quill attached the camera to his jacket collar and turned it on.

"Much better," Rocket said. "scan the room already, will ya?"

"I was doing that until you interrupted me." Quill said. He moved the scanner over the hall, revealing the blue holographic outlines of people in bizarre costumes, walking down the corridor as if the ship wasn't dead. The scanner found a path leading to the engine room and illuminated it in red. Being careful not to trip on anything else, Quill followed the red path and Drax and Gamora followed.

As they went along, there were less and less people in the halls. The scanner lead the to a maintenance ladder, which they descended. Quill noticed that there was dried blood on some of the ladder rungs but he tried not to pay attention to it. They dropped down into a hall with the same steal walls as the upper floors, but considerably better lit and with no red carpet. They followed the scanner down the hall and found themselves in front of a large door. Quill stepped up to it and put his hands on his hips, like a rock climber examining an impenetrable cliff face. Drax and Gamora stood back a little, as if the door might attack them.

"I love opening doors." Quill said. "It's like christmas. You don't know what you'll find inside."

"Again with this Christmas thing." Gamora said, throwing up her hands.

"Oh Christmas is great. The best part are the presents. You set up a tree and put presents underneath it. The presents are covered with paper, so you have to guess what's inside. That's why it's similar to opening doors. The suspense, and then the surprise, and then hopefully its something cool, like a video game, not socks. Everyone gives to each other, and you drink eggnog. Actually, I don't remember liking eggnog. Maybe I'd like it better now if I could try it."

"Cool." Rocket said. "I don't care."

"Look, all you need to know is you get free stuff."

"That sounds fun. I like free stuff."

Quill tried to open the door but the control was busted.

"Try rewiring it." Rocket said.

Quill ripped the door panel off, exposing a network of wires like veins. "This is gonna take a while."

Drax made an angry noise through his nose as Quill started working on the wires. Gamora leaned against the wall and sunk to the floor. "I'm so hungry." She grumbled.

"But you just had that candy bar."

"Those things are just sugar, no nutrients. Do you think we could stop by the kitchen?"

"Sure thing."

A silence fell that was broken only by the grating sound of Drax sharpening his knives to the jaunty chorus of Come and Get Your Love playing over the com links.

"If you could have any food right now, what would it be?" Quill asked.

Gamora sighed. "Probably Pani Wui."

"What's that?" Quill asked.

"I used to have it all the time when I was a kid. It's eggs and meat with a special sauce. It's my favorite food probably. What's yours?"

"Probably bacon."

Gamora's eyes widened. "I didn't know you were a cannibal."

"What?" Quill asked. "No, I'm not. Bacon is pork, not human flesh."

"So it's unrelated to Kevin Bacon?"

"They aren't related."

Gamora mulled this new information over in her head. "It's odd that one of earth's greatest heroes is named after food."

"Yeah, that is weird now that I think about it."

"Quill," Drax asked. "is air on this ship safe to breath?"

"Should be."

"Good." Drax took off his oxygen mask and massaged his neck.

Gamora also took her mask off. "Those things are kind of horrible."

"I wouldn't know. Hows the air?"

"Breathable."

Quill deactivated his helmet, then continued working on the door panel "Crap." He dropped the wires. "It shocked me."

"Step aside small human." Drax pushed Quill out of the way, then stuck his fingers in the door and wrenched it open.

"Well, that's one way to do it." Rocket said.

"I'm not that small." Quill said indignantly, following Drax into the engine room. It was a big room, full of tanks and gears turning and pipes running every which way.

"Right." Quill said. "First priority is the grav-core, but anything valuable is just as good. I've got this loot bag." Quill took a duffle bag out of his satchel.

"You've got a loot bag inside of your bag?"

"This holds more stuff. It folds though, so it can fit inside." Quill said. "Also I feel like a burglar when I carry it over my shoulder." He threw the loot bag on the ground in front of them. "You're all criminals," He said. "you know what to look for. I'm gonna leave this bag here and I expect it to be full when I get back."

"This is exciting." Gamora said. "It's like a race."

"Oh yeah? Let's make it a competition. Whoever get's the most stuff wins."

"Ooooh." Rocket joined in. "Sounds like fun. How about the grav-core is worth 15 points, everything else is worth one."

"I accept this challenge." Drax said.

"You're on Donkey Kong."

Gamora blinked. "Is this another Christmas thing?"

"Um, yes." Quill said. "Ok. Three, two, one, go!" Quill used his jet boots to propel himself across the room, Gamora split off right. Drax took the left. Quill crashed not too gracefully into a computer board and got to his feet, scanning the room for anything that could be worth money.

"Take that thing over there." Rocket said.

"You'll have to be more specific than that."

"The quarnix battery."

"A quarnix battery only sells for 40 units, it's completely useless."

"Oh really? I can make a bomb worth a pound of C4 out of that thing."

"But it wont sell for jack shit."

"Two points to Gamora." Rocket said.

"What?"

"She just got the battery for me. You're a doll."

"Thanks." Gamora said.

"Since when were you the referee?"

"Since now. From now on, you only get points if I say so."

"You do not know what's valuable in this room." Quill said, pointing an accusatory finger at the air as if Rocket was in front of him.

"Another point for Gamora."

"Dammit." Quill gave up arguing and grabbed a broom.

"Oh come on." Rocket said. "You can do better than that. Half a point."

"Shut up!" Quill took a engine part from a nearby bench. "How many points is this?"

"I'm not telling you." Rocket said, ignoring Quill's rage. "It's only fair, since I can only see what you're taking. We'll tally it all up at the end of the game. Oh, and it's not worth any points if it broken. You hear that Drax, not broken."

"I haven't broken anything." Drax said.

"Oh. Well then, keep up the good work. Oh damn."

"What is it?" Gamora asked.

"Nothing, Quill just found something."

"He found the grav-core?"

"Shit," Quill said. "Now she knows. You just had to open your mouth Rocket."

Rocket made a noise very reminiscent of a giggle. "Fight for my entertainment mortals! Fight!"

Quill kept running toward the grav core. It was suspended in a nest of wires, like a cocoon. He reached a ladder at the other side of the room and began to climb.

"Quill!"

He looked over his shoulder. Gamora had caught up with him. "Shit." Quill leapt into the tangle of wires in an attempt to take a shortcut. His foot got caught in a loop and he flailed around trying to free it. Gamora grabbed his shoulder and used it to pull herself up. "No you-" Quill grabbed her arm and Gamora in turn tried to push him away.

"Raaaaaah," With a mighty roar, Drax leapt into the air and grabbed hold of the wires a good three feet above them. He plucked the gravity core from it's resting place with ease and the gravity turned off. "Quill." Drax asked, grabbing hold of the wires to stop himself from drifting away. "What would be an appropriate metaphor to celebrate victory?"

Quill stared at Drax and shook his head.

"Hell yeah, works pretty good." Rocket said. "Or, suck it asshole, if you want some variety. Ok, now much as I want to see a fight to the death, it doesn't count for points if you steal it back. We'll keep playing till we have enough stuff to fill the loot bag. Extra points for anything I can turn into a bomb."

"You can turn everything into a bomb."

"Heh heh yeah, that's kind of true."

They regathering after ten minutes or so at the loot bag, which was floating not to far from where they'd left it.

"Ok," Quill said. "let's see what everyone got. Gamora?"

"I don't know what most of this stuff is." Gamora said releasing the various objects she had gathered in her arms to float around her. "It just looked important so I took it."

"Very nice." Rocket said. "Batteries, translators, a few energy cores, valence replicators, oh, I can turn that thing into a detonator but I can't remember what it's called. Quill, show us what you got."

Quill presented his loot.

"What the hell man?" Rocket said. "Is that all?"

"No, I also have this broom."

"You still have that thing? What are you going to use it for?"

"Sweeping and air guitar," Quill held the broom like a guitar and strummed a chord.

"I'm disappointed."

"Whatever. I can sell all this stuff for a crap load of money and you'll thank me then. My conscious is clear."

"Yeah? Well you definitely ain't winning." Rocket said. "Drax, hopefully you have some stuff that ain't garbage, other than the grav core."

Drax let the grav core drift into the center of the circle they'd formed, then wordlessly presented a wrench.

"Drax, no."

"Why not?" Drax said. "The blunt end makes it ideal for crushing skulls."

Quill rolled his eyes. "Anything else?"

"This."

Quill's jaw dropped. Gamora's eyes widened. There, in Drax's hand, as if out of a dream, sat an old cassette tape.

"Quill, this camera must be broken," Rocket said. "that can't actually be a cassette tape he has?"

Quill took the tape from Drax. "It's real. It's really real. I thought I was the only one in the galaxy who had these. Where did you find it Drax?"

Drax shrugged. "It was floating."

"No shit. You thought this was less important than a wrench?"

"I value weapons more than songs. I admit I do not yet fully understand the Teran fascination with music. Why wouldn't a weapon be more important, especially while we are exploring a foreign spaceship?"

"Maybe if it was a really good weapon, but it's just a wrench."

Drax looked somewhat defensive. "I like this wrench."

"Holy shit," Rocket said. "play the tape already."

"Um, yeah. About that, I kind of left my walkman on the Millano."

"Dammit Quill. Of course, of all the times to find a real actual cassette tape, it had to be the time dumbass forgets the Walkman."

"I didn't forget it, I left it on purpose."

"Why?"

"Because I knew we were gonna be using the com-links and I didn't want to be tempted to use it."

"Gah, I'm surrounded by idiots."

"It's ok, it's ok." Quill said. "If there's a cassette, then there has to be something to play it on somewhere on this ship."

"It could be anywhere on that ship, and it's a big ship."

"So it'll take us a while, but that's okay."

"No." Gamora said. "Actually, we could probably find it pretty fast. Can I see the scanner?" Quill handed her the scanner. She turned it on and pointed it at the door. "The scanner wont be able to scan for something as specific as a cassette player, but we can try and guess where it is." Gamora looked at Quill, who shook his head. She rolled her eyes and continued. "Where would they use music most on a ship like this?"

"This is more complicated than it needs to be." Drax said.

Quill stared at him in awe. "You were paying attention?"

"It's not that uncommon. I say we find the biggest door and try looking in there."

"Ok, just follow me." Gamora said, and she led the team back up the ladder and into the halls. They were more difficult to navigate now that they were operating in zero gravity. The corpses that had littered the floor were now drifting in the air, and Quill was the only one who had a means of propulsion beyond pushing off from a wall and praying. He would break off from the group and go zooming ahead occasionally before realizing he didn't really know where he was going. Gamora led them through various corridors and down many dead ends, following where the most people were going.

They finally reached a long hallway that had a window running along the length of the right wall. The stars provided better light than the red fluorescence. At the end of the hall was a large door. Gamora waved the scanner over the empty hallway, revealing people crowded around the door, leaning against the walls, laughing and drinking. "I think this is it."

"You've said the same thing about the last three rooms we've checked."

"I swear to god, I will punch you in the face."

"I would love to see you try."

"Whoa, let's not fight guys." Quill said, using his jet boots to get between Drax and Gamora. "Why break people when you can break things like doors?"

"I find that there's a certain satisfaction in extinguishing a human life." Drax said stroking his chin sagely. "Breaking human bones has a weight to it, that material things simply don't have. Perhaps it is the screaming that accompanies the break that brings me such happiness. Truly, there is something intangibly wonderful about violence."

"Well," Quill said. "that was unnecessarily informative."

"I think he speaks for all of us," Gamora said.

"No, it's not normal to get off on violence."

"Actually Quill, I'm gonna side with Drax on this one." Rocket said.

"Seriously, I'm the only one?" Quill looked around.

"If it's any comfort, Groot agrees with you." Rocket said. "Kind of. He says only if it's a bad person, then it's fun."

"Well, obvious the victim has done something to deserve it." Drax said. "There must be rage first."

"Ok, violence is fun if you aren't killing orphans or something."

"That's what we were saying." Gamora said.

"The best comeback is shooting someone in the face." Rocket said.

"But then have they really deserved it?"

"I don't care so much about that actually."

"Focus guys." Quill said. "There's a door in front of us. Drax, would you kindly demonstrate what we do to doors?"

Drax shoved off the wall down the hall and ripped the door open.

"You know, I think that door actually worked, so there was really no need for that." Gamora said.

"That door was asking for it." Quill followed Drax and Gamora into the room. It looked like a nightclub crossed with a cathedral. Bad multicolored lighting cast dim shadows over low tables and couches that were situated in pits. There were bodies here too, slumped on the couches and against the walls. In the middle of the place, there was a sort of DJ station that seemed to tower over everything else. "Jackpot," Quill said.

Quill hopped up onto the DJ stand. He spotted it instantly. Among the various disc inputs and sound boards, there was a 3' by 5' slot, distinctly different from the one on the Milano, but unmistakable similar. "A tape player. Bless this ship." Quill examined the cassette dock, his hands hovering over it's surface, Gamora and Drax peering over his shoulder. All three of them were consumed with awe.

"Don't leave us in suspense Quill," Rocket said. "Play it."

Quill took the tape out of it's cardboard sleeve and handed the sleeve to Gamora. He opened the dock and placed the tape inside like an acolyte handling a sacred artifact. The first song on the tape opened with trumpets, rich and bubbly. After a short intro, the melody started.

Quill nodded his head a little. "It's different, not bad, certainly not what I'm used to. I think it's jazz. What do you guys think?" He looked to his companions.

"It's beautiful." Gamora said. Her face was full of awe. Seeing her wonder, Quill fell into silence. They were quiet, listening to the song. The lyrics spoke of stars and dreams and love. It was a duet between a man and a woman, a love song. It seemed to fill the empty ship with light a warmth, lending the darkness a friendlier quality and making stars outside the window seem closer than ever.

Quill sighed. "This song makes me feel lonely."

"Why?" Gamora asked.

Quill shrugged. The song ended and he took the tape out.

"No, leave it in." Gamora said.

"Ok, but we have to stay focused."

"Look at you, being all responsible and crap." Rocket said.

"I'm always responsible."

Rocket snorted.

Quill put the tape in again and another song started up. This one had a faster tempo.

"I think there's a kitchen behind this bar," Gamora said, floating up to the counter. "I'm gonna check it out."

"Ok, be careful."

"Quill, I found another tape." Drax said. He'd begun to sift through the floating minefield of bodies.

"Sweet! Hand it here and I'll put it in once this one's done, and if you guys find any drugs, gab them. We can sell them for a fortune." Drax threw the tape at Quill and it glided toward him. He caught it, then drifted toward the door and started messing around with the room controls.

"How you holding up Rocket?" Quill asked, pressing a button that made all the lights purple.

"Just fine, thanks for asking. Don't mind me, I'm just slowly losing any sanity I had left. At least Groot's happy. Look at him, dancing about."

"Wish I could be there."

"No you don't, don't mock me."

Quill pushed another button and the wall to one side of the room was pulled up in segments, revealing a large window.

Gamora came out from behind the bar with two bags, one containing freeze dried vegetables, one containing a white powder. "I found drugs."

"Great, but them in the loot bag. Oh." The loot bag was full.

"Do you have another one?"

Quill shook his head. "No. We'll have to empty it out at the Milano."

"Perfect," Rocket said. "Then we can switch out."

"Switch out?"

"Yeah, remember that? We're gonna take turns with who gets to be bored to death on the Milano and who gets to have adventures on the mystery ship."

"Oh right." Quill said. "Well, maybe we can find another bag to put things in."

"Hey Quill, if I don't get my turn soon, I'm gonna start breaking things. I wonder what's gonna be first to go."

"No Rocket wait, we're sending someone out to switch with you. Nose goes on who gets to switch places with Rocket on the ship." He touched his nose with his finger and Gamora followed suit. "Drax, you go."

"I do not understand."

"Nose goes, whoever is last to put their finger on their nose loses."

Drax crossed his arms and a dark look fell over his face. "I think not. I would think the person with the most impressive murder record should stay."

"That is a very good idea. I'll go." Quill turned, then hesitated. "Let's just see what's on the other tape first."

"Wow, look at this lovely jacket." Rocket said. "It would sure be a shame if something were to happen to it."

"Don't break my stuff Rocket." Quill said. "I'll be up there in a minute, just let me play the other tape."

"Fine. Hop to it you little shit."

Quill went over to the tape player and put in the tape. Drax and Gamora gathered round as the music began to play.

"Well what do you know." Quill said. He recognized the melody instantly.

"What is it?"

"It's a Christmas song."

"No way."

"Yes way. I'd recognize it anywhere."

Gamora bit her lip. "It sounds so cheerful."

"Yeah, that's the point." Quill smiled. "Christmas is in the middle of the coldest month of the year, it cheers everyone up to have something bright to look forward to."

"What about the song you sang earlier. Is it on this tape?"

"Let's find out." Quill began skipping through the tracks, looking for Baby Its Cold Outside.

There was a muffled crash.

"Dammit Rocket don't break my stuff!"

"That wasn't me." Rocket said. "That was on your end."

"What?" Quill's eyes darted back and forth, scanning the room.

"It came from the hall." Drax said.

"Did it?"

"Yes."

"Uh, ok." Quill took a deep breath. "Who wants to go see what the creepy noise is. Nose goes!"

"No." Drax said.

"Follow my lead." Gamora said, then she pushed off toward the door.

Quill and Drax followed. Gamora held up and open palm, then stuck her head out around the corner. "Do you see anything?"

Gamora's eyes narrowed, then she nodded. She retreated from the doorway, letting Quill take her place. He stared into the pulsating darkness ahead.

"What's happening?" Rocket asked.

"There's something." Quill whispered.

"Are you sure it's not a body?"

"It's moving." Quill stared very hard at the hallway, cursing the horrible red lights. It was hard to see but there was definitely a dark shape moving from body to body, headed their way. Quill withdrew his head, shut the doors, and locked them.

"What did you do that for?" Gamora hissed. "You just blocked our escape route."

"Yeah, you know what else was blocking our escape route? A freaking space octopus."

"A space octopus?" Drax asked. "I could easily kill a creature as innocuous as an octopus."

"An evil space octopus." Quill said. "It has fangs. Probably." He blasted to the tape player and turned it off. With the music off, they could now hear scratching and clicking coming from the other side of the door.

"The way out is through that hallway." Gamora said, drawing her sword. "We'll have to make a stand."

Quill activated his helmet. "There are multiple ways to exit a room Gamora. Put your mask on." Quill pointed his blaster at the window.

"Wait! Drax doesn't have his mask."

"What?" Quill looked at Drax. "Where did you put it?"

"I left it in the engine room."

"Fuck!"

The scratching was at the door now, the clicking had grown louder, like a malicious dolphin. Quill redirected his blaster, pointing it at the door. "I'll distract it, you two run get the mask."

Drax drew his knives. "We'll fight it together."

"No, you won't be fast enough, not in zero-grav." There was a hiss and the door opened. Quill started shooting wildly, then shot off to the right to avoid a black shape. It lunged into the room, then spun, its attention fixed on Quill.

"You're one ugly son of a bitch." He said, looking the thing over. It did kind of look like an octopus, without the eyes, or the charm, and with a teeth ringed mouth instead of a beak. It's skin was a shifting shade of black that made it look like space itself making it a nightmare to try and spot in the semidarkness. The monster made a clicking noise that sounded like a cross between a rattlesnake and a machine gun. "Come get some bitch!" Quilled yelled.

The space octopus shot at him again, swimming thought the air as if it were water. He ducked under it this time, switching the setting on his blaster and shooting an electric bolt at the thing. Electricity crackled around its body, but the space octopus seemed unaffected. It only paused for a moment before it was ready to attack again. Its speed was terrifying. Quill could barely keep up. He grabbed a nearby corpse and threw it at the thing, then turned and flew toward the kitchen. He slammed the door behind him. "Whoa." The kitchen was full of drugs of all types, some in bags, some in packs, some in boxes. He used a few of the boxes to brace the door.

"What's happening Quill?" Rocket asked.

"it's taking all my attacks like they're nothing," Quill said. "so if you see the thing, run like hell. I'm trapped in the kitchen right now but I'll figure something out."

"We have the mask." Gamora said.

"Great, get back to the ship."

"No. We're coming to get you."

"Are you kidding? This thing will kill you."

"Which is why you need our help."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"You can't stop us Quill." Drax said.

The door shuddered. "Crap." Quill checked his ammo level. He had 3 shots left. The door slid open. "Shit, shit, shit!" Quill slammed the door panel with his fist and it closed again. "shit shit shit." He grabbed a sack of black crystals and when the door opened again, he threw it at the octopus. It bounced off the monster and the crystals went all over the place. Where the crystals touched the octopus it's skin turned a bright green color and acrid smoke rose. "Shit!" Quill yelled, closing the door again. "I have an idea. Gamora, Drax, you have to distract him. Don't die."

"We'll try."

"Rocket, bring the ship round to where we are. We need to get out fast."

"I don't know where the hell you are."

"Figure it out!" The octopus opened the door again. Quill tried to shut it, but the octopus stuck it's tentacles into the frame so that the door wouldn't close. "Shit!"

Drax flew into the room and threw one of his knives which embedded in the monster's back. It screamed and turned to face him. Quill scrambled to his feet and started grabbing drugs. Gamora and Drax were holding their own, but every time they chopped one of the thing's tentacles off, it grew another one.

Quill grabbed a nearby wire and wrapped all the bags to a box. He hoisted it in his arms then stepped out into the open. "Hey, stupid head!" He yelled. The monster didn't notice. "Fuck it." Quill pinned the bundle against his hip with one hand, and with the other, shot the octopus in the face. The thing turned toward him. It roared, and as soon as it's mouth opened, Quill threw the bundle of drugs at it. It landed squarely in the monster's mouth. The thing choked, and Quill leapt at it, using his foot to jam the drugs further down it's gullet, then he jumped away.

"Let's go." Gamora said.

Quill nodded, then shot the window. It shattered. Quill grabbed Gamora and Drax, then blasted out into space. "Oh thank god." The Milano was waiting for them, maybe fifty feet away from the ship.

"Ok, I deserve a medal or something," Rocket said. "for finding you guys with jack shit to go on."

"Yeah cool just get the freaking door open! Oh crap." Quill stopped halfway to the ship."

"What is it?" Gamora asked. "What's wrong?"

"The tape." Quill said. "I left the tape on the ship."

"Oh shit." Rocket said.

"I have to go back for it."

"You can't."

"I have to." Quill flung his two passengers toward the Milano. "If I'm not back in ten minutes, leave." He said, then he blasted off toward the wreaked ship.

"No!" Gamora reached out for him, but she couldn't change her direction. She and Drax landed on the Milano and took hold of something to stop their momentum.

"Shit." Rocket said, firing up the engines.

"No, wait." Gamora said. "Wait for him."

"He's gonna get killed over a freaking cassette tape."

"That's his choice. We need to trust him." Gamora drew her sword.

"So much for trust."

"Trust means being prepared for whatever he's gonna bring back with him."

"Alright, fine." Rocket said. "Five minutes, then I'm driving this piece of ravenger garbage straight into that ship. Kamikaze style."

Gamora stared at the abandon ship, ever muscle tensed, ready for attack.

The airlock opened and Rocket stepped out onto the ship, holding a submachine gun in one hand and a rocket launcher in the other. There was a rope tied to his waste to stop him from drifting away from the ship.

"Shit!"

Gamora's hand flew to her ear. "Quill?"

"Ah, I fucked up." Quill said. "Be ready."

"I was born ready." Rocket growled, powering up the rocket launcher.

Quill came hurtling out of the ship, the space octopus close behind. The monster was flashing and changing colors. "Help!" Quill shouted.

Rocket aimed the rocket launcher, then fired. The rocket exploded on the thing's skin, but it didn't stop.

"Careful." Quill shouted.

"I don't do careful."

"Don't shoot! It doesn't work."

Gamora hopped down into the airlock. "I'm gonna take the wheel." She shouted as the hatch closed.

"Fuck this." Rocket pointed the sub machine gun in Quill and the monster's general direction and fired. A hailstorm of bright green lasers pelted ship surface behind them. A few hit the space octopus, but they bounced off it's black gelatinous hide.

"Son of a bitch," Quill covered his head. "you're gonna kill me."

"Ah shit." Rocket grabbed the loot bag and riffled through it. Drax sprung forward like a bullet from spring loaded rifle. He stabbed the octopus in the face and used his sword to stop his momentum. The thing screeched. Quill paused his retreat and fired a return volley.

"I'm out of ammo." He shouted.

"Give me a minute." Rocket said. "Aha!" He pulled the quarnix battery out of the loot bag. "Beautiful."

"Gaaaaaaah!" The space octopus grabbed Quill's foot.

"Shit!" Rocket grabbed a wrench out of the loot bag and took aim. "Heads up Quill." Rocket threw the wrench at the thing's tentacle and Quill wrenched his foot away. He managed too break free, but the jet on one of his shoes came off. Quill lost control veered to the side. The space octopus tried to grab him again but Drax stabbed it.

"Keep working on the bomb Rocket." Drax said. "I will kill this vile creature." He stabbed the the thing again and the monster grabbed him and threw him out into space. The Milano lurched upward and caught Drax. "Thanks."

"No problem." Gamora said.

"Done!" Rocket held his new creation aloft. "Drax, you go inside, this is about to get messy. Ok, now you just need to lure it over here Quill."

"Toward my ship?"

"Trust me man, I got a plan."

Quill turned and started toward the Milano. "If you get one scratch on her Rocket I swear to god I'll kill you. Dammit!" Quill overshot by several feet, unable to fly properly with only one boot. Gamora flew out of the octopus' way as it barreled toward Quill again.

"Shit, this thing is in love with you or something." Rocket said. "Get it closer." Gamora started shooting at the thing but even the Milano's guns couldn't pierce its skin.

"Oh god dammit." Quill said. The octopus was between him and the Milano, clicking and screeching. Quill took a deep breath. He screamed and charged. He ducked under the octopus, feeling it's tentacles brush the back of his head and leapt into the Milano's airlock. The space octopus, not five feet behind him, opened it's gaping maw. Rocket threw his newly created bomb down the beast's gullet the scurried back inside the ship. The monster swallowed. There was a horrible moment where they all thought Rocket's plan had failed, then there was a muffled boom. The space octopus' body expanded briefly, then deflated. It's body grew limp and drifted softly away from the ship.

"Hell yeah!" Rocket shouted. "I killed it!"

"Let's not wait around for that statement to bite us in the ass." Quill said. He took the Milano's stealing wheel and blasted off away from the abandon ship.

Everyone was in a much better mood on the sixth day of their journey. They had a bag full of loot that would be either sold or made into weapons, and they had two new cassette tapes full of new music to be discovered. As they were all sitting in the ships main area, listening to the last couple tracks of the jazz tape Gamora came out of the back with a large bag in her arms.

"Whats that?" Quill asked.

Gamora dropped the bag down in front of Quill so he could read the label. Spare Parts. "And yes." She said. "It does have a grav core."

"Oh."

"The Xandarians must've put them on your ship when they fixed it." Gamora crossed her arms. "What did we learn today Quill?"

"Er, always check for spare parts?"

"No, we learned that your an idiot."

"We already knew that." Rocket said.

"I am Groot."

"You always take his side."

"Anyway." Quill said. "I took a look at this Christmas tape, it has the song we were looking for. Wanna listen?"

"Sure." Gamora took a seat and Quill put the tape in. He skipped to the last track and was greeted once more by trumpets. Gamora closed her eyes and smiled. "Do you know how to play Gad Hossel?" She asked.

"No."

"It's a Kree game. You just need a deck of cards."

"I have some here." Quill said. "Why don't you teach us?"

"Ok, but I have to warn you, I'm very good at it."

"Was that a challenge?" Rocket asked as Quill got up to get the cards.

"Maybe." Gamora opened her eyes.

Drax stood. "I can't back down from a challenge."

"Good, we need at least four people for a good game."

Quill came back and hand the cards to Gamora, who started shuffling. He sighed.

"What's the matter?"

"Well, I love Christmas songs, but you really aren't supposed to play them unless it's Christmas."

Rocket rolled his eyes. "It could be Christmas for all you know. Quit whining."

"I am Groot." Groot squeaked.

Rocket grabbed his watering can from off the shelf. "Be right back. don't start without me."

"We'll wait." Gamora said, then she started dealing the cards.


End file.
